Pipe Dream

If there is a more shining example of British womanhood than Miss Joanna Lumley, I’d like to know who is.

She is not only a very lovely and talented woman, whose beauty lights up all our lives, but her unstinting efforts on behalf of the less well blessed are a clarion call to us all.

I am only sorry that I have not, as yet, rallied to it in as positive a way as I might.

No one was a more vociferous supporter of her battle with the government to allow Gurkhas who have served for more than four years in the British army to settle in this country if they so wish.

Did I do anything about it? Did I bollocks? All talk and no action, that’s yours truly.

But it got me thinking. What about the Gurkhas who don’t fancy staying here? The ones who want go back home? Who’s looking after them?

Well, I happen to have the answer, as it goes, thanks to another valued customer – a senior retired Gurkha officer (no names, no pack drill) and a trustee of the Gurkha Welfare Trust which provides all sorts of help for Gurkha ex-servicemen back in Nepal.

One of their current projects is the Rural Water and Sanitation Programme – RWSP, for short.

Believe it or not, over a quarter of the population – that’s six million – don’t have access to safe drinking water, and half don’t even have basic sanitation. Terrible.

The aim of the RWSP is to pipe drinking water to isolated rural communities in the hills and to train some of the locals in basic plumbing. A very worthy cause, I think you’ll agree, and one to which I’d be only too happy to lend a helping hand.

The only reason I haven’t done anything about it yet is my delicate stomach vis-à-vis unfamiliar foreign food.

I realise things have looked up quite a bit in recent years, but I’m still haunted by Charlie Sneath’s stories of his hippie days in Kathmandu back in the 70s.

His then girl friend came out to join him and the first night he took her to a restaurant where a large rat ran under their table.

‘Don’t worry,’ Charlie told her, ‘it’s part of the local colour.’ An American at the next table piped up, ‘As long as it’s not part of the soup.’

Still, I am thinking about it, which is the main thing.

Tags: celebrity plumber, pipe installation, plumbing, Water Engineers, worthy cause